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Category Archives: europe

when in europe

and they call me crazy

People always call me crazy —> my thoughts, my art, my poetry, my ideas, my books, my actions, but Eh, that’s life! They say that I’m different, I’m out there, the fact that I think outside the box and see things in a way that most others can’t grasp; plus my utter honestly seems to bother the masses. Ha, and they call me crazy. In the blog I’m writing I will be giving you a few examples of why I think this along with pictures to accompany it. Check this out.

I think that in Europe the Government and other organizations conspire to keep their people thin, yes you heard it, I said it, it’s a fat/thin conspiracy. Now I’m not going to get as deep as lets say, the “New World Order” Conspiracy theory, but I am going to go there/here/my fat/thin conspiracy! In America, so many people are overweight and FAT, FAT FAT FAT… and that’s a FACT! In Europe, this is NOT the case, an overweight person (aside from the visiting tourists) is a rare sight.

Take a look at how the toilets and bathrooms that are built and located all over the European Union; they are as small as they get, just plain tiny and far from comfortable. For instance, check out this toilet I happened to come upon on one of my European getaways.

greece toilet

and they call me crazy

How on earth can an overweight person urinate in this contraption? Can you imagine a “big person” stooping and squatting here, and what if they had to take a crapper, if they had the engage in the act of defecation, yikes!! They would be shit (no pun intended) outta luck. I I lived in Europe, this in itself would give me motivation to stay skinny, I see it as survival of the fittest and slimmest for sure! Last I checked it was 2010, so why on earth do these contraptions exist throughout Europe, they are everywhere. And to think these are still the toilets at the Charles De Gaul airport in Paris, can you imagine that?

and they call me crazy

and they call me crazy

I was in Athens and really had to use the “lou”, so I headed to the ladies room… I walked in, looked left, looked right, total confusion. “Am in the right room”, i ask myself, i go back outside and check the door just to be sure, and Yes, it said LADIES. I walk back in, as other women are washing their hands & going into stalls. “Oh but this can not be right” i tell myself. I check the other stalls and they are all alike. The woman washing her hands chuckles at the fact that I’m totally & utterly confused. “Are we supposed to squat & actually pee in that thing, oh why did I drink that whole bottle of water & that cup of coffee, i gotta go sooo bad but where the heck are the toilets?”. It was absolutely terrifying, what if i was like 300 lbs & what if i didn’t do pilates,how the heck can people use these things. Huhhhh?? With bathrooms like this they have the balls to call us Belizeans THIRD WORLD???

And how about the shower’s? Showering in Europe is dreadful, and washing my long-ass hair is more than difficult to achieve.

small shower in europe

and they call me crazy

Oyyy, this is a topic in and of itself. I’m a mangy 120 lbs and I have a hard time in European shower’s, they are so tiny and claustrophobic like. If I have issues can you imagine an overweight person, I can hardly move in those things, how are people supposed to stay clean if they are big and overweight? Ha, this has to confirm my fat/thin conspiracy theory for sure! And don’t even think about having sex with your partner in the showers, you can forget that, engaging in the act of fornication is a definite double negative. While taking a shower on a sunny summer day in my hotel in Greece, it suddenly dawned on me, they want people to stay skinny, in fact my whole conspiracy theory was born in this very shower. I’ve traveled all over Europe and it’s a rare site to see an overweight person, besides the occasional tourist that comes to visit. On top of all that the portions and food choices are not my usual cuisine (then again this varies throughout Europe, because in Italy I don’t have any problems with food, pizza, pasta, yum yum, gimme gimme). Ok back to my conspiracy, take a look at this un-delicious plate (that I could hardly stomach or eat).

food served in greece

and they call me crazy

I was far from full, believe me. Sprats and a lemon, not my idea of dinner.

So that my conspiracy theory for the day people. The European Union has their shit together for keeping their people skinny with their un-usable grounded toilets, uber tiny showers and oddly small food portions. If you wanna be skinny and stay skinny, move to Europe! No more Atkins nonsense, no more Jenny Craig, no more crash diets, just move to Europe. Ha, And they call me crazy!

youtube with proshka

Catch more of my Antics on the Tube!

I’m sure that anyone who has traveled to Europe can share in my sentiments and probably have your own funny stories to share so feel free to do so here!

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